I’m Asexual and currently engaged in a romantic relationship with a woman. She really wants to have sex, I’m not really into it. We’ve done other things I really like, like making out and heaving petting. How do I tell her that I don’t want to sleep with her without making her feel inferior, undesirable and bad about herself? I’m scared to hurt her. Should I just compromise and sleep with her?
Heather Corinna replies:
Based on everything I know and have learned working in sex and relationships for many years, people don’t tend to have or sustain healthy relationships when they do big things for or with partners they don’t also want to do and feel good about themselves.
Taking out the garbage, doing the dishes, giving someone a ride or watching a certain movie when you don’t want to or would rather be doing something else is one thing. Creating babies, converting to a given religion, making legal agreements, moving in together or having sex when you don’t want to do those things are all something else entirely.
@2 years ago with 24 notes
#asexual #sex #sexuality #compromise
"Our Modern Love series continues today with a look at what is perhaps the least understood sexuality out there — one that is defined not by who you have sex with, but by the absence of sexual attraction. It’s known as asexuality, and in a hyper-sexualized culture that assumes sex is driving force behind just about everything, it’s a phenomenon and an experience that many people struggle to understand.
Jian talks to asexual activist and the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network David Jay about his personal and political struggle, and what asexuality can reveal about human intimacy.”
Listen to the radio segment here!
@2 years ago with 33 notes
#asexual #david Jay #sex
"We mistake sex for romance. Guys are taught that pushing a girl up against a wall is romance. Sex is easy; you can do it with anyone, yourself, with batteries. Romance is when someone you like walks into a room and they take your breath away. Romance is when two people are dancing and they fit together perfectly. Romance is when two people are walking next to each other and all of a sudden they find themselves holding hands, and they don’t know how that happened."
@2 years ago with 3192 notes
#quote #romance #love #sex #relationships