This blog was created for the purposes of educating, helping & supporting other asexual spectrum people and questioning asexual spectrum people.
This blog is also body positive, sex positive & LGBT positive.
We do not advocate or tolerate: slut shaming, virgin shaming, body shaming, asexual elitism, homophobia, slurs that intend to hurt or offend.
This guy was awesome, he even wore a mini-skirt. Rape prevention tip: use the buddy system! If you’re not able to stop yourself from sexually assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you’re in public!
Trigger Warning for discussion of rape culture and mention of rape.
NB: I’m not trying to make judgements on anyone’s relationship nor the asexual community as a whole. This is just me airing my views.
(some of this is lifted from a post I made on AVEN, don’t worry, I did not steal it)
I…
I didn’t want to reblog this, but I thought pianycist’s response to a royal screw up I made was good. It’s reposted below:
How about RESPECTING BOUNDARIES and BEING CONSCIENTIOUS OF PARTNERS’ BOUNDARIES?
“The Asexual partner should not expect the sexual partner to give up intercourse”.
The sexual partner should not expect any potential partner to provide them with sex. Period. Having that expectation is rape culture. And demisexuality needs to be brought up, because demis can have relationships with Aces and with sexual people—and the same need for everyone to be conscientious of boundaries applies.
I don’t ever expect to cuddle with my cuddlesquish, despite that I want to. I don’t even have the expectation that I will get to hold hands with people whose hands I want to hold. Physical contact is something I will talk about as something I like and I will ask before doing anything. And I will not expect the other person to pull me aside and tell me “By the way, I’m not interested in [x]” or “[x] makes me uncomfortable”. I will always ask if some form of physical contact is okay first before doing it, and if the answer is “no” or “not now” or “not ever”, I deal with it and won’t ask again.
Despite that I’m an extremely sensual person, no one owes me hugs, cuddles, kisses or anything. If they were things that could be owed, it would cheapen their value. The same goes for sex for people who enjoy it. I say this as a (gray Asexual) person who has transgressed a (sexual) person’s boundaries in the past and wants never to transgress anyone’s boundaries again.
If someone gives me kisses or cuddles, I want it to be because they want to do so. Not because I laid down the requirement for them to do so if they want to remain in an interpersonal relationship with me.
(Source: asexyqueer)
No one is under any obligation to be the exact same person they would have been had they grown up in a safe fluffy world where nothing bad ever happened to them. Our experiences shape us as people. Personally, I don’t believe that rape can change a person’s sexual orientation; however, even if your asexuality is linked in some way to your rape, that doesn’t make it any less valid. It’s still a part of you, and you get to decide what to do with that. How to feel about it. How to react to it. It’s yours, all yours, regardless of where it came from.
I hope that helped, anon, or at least that it didn’t make things worse. I’m really, truly sorry for what happened to you. *insert emotionally comforting gesture of choice here*
This.
Trigger Warning for discussion of rape culture and mention of rape.
NB: I’m not trying to make judgements on anyone’s relationship nor the asexual community as a whole. This is just me airing my views.
(some of this is lifted from a post I made on AVEN, don’t worry, I did not steal it)
I…
I didn’t want to reblog this, but I thought pianycist’s response to a royal screw up I made was good. It’s reposted below:
How about RESPECTING BOUNDARIES and BEING CONSCIENTIOUS OF PARTNERS’ BOUNDARIES?
“The Asexual partner should not expect the sexual partner to give up intercourse”.
The sexual partner should not expect any potential partner to provide them with sex. Period. Having that expectation is rape culture. And demisexuality needs to be brought up, because demis can have relationships with Aces and with sexual people—and the same need for everyone to be conscientious of boundaries applies.
I don’t ever expect to cuddle with my cuddlesquish, despite that I want to. I don’t even have the expectation that I will get to hold hands with people whose hands I want to hold. Physical contact is something I will talk about as something I like and I will ask before doing anything. And I will not expect the other person to pull me aside and tell me “By the way, I’m not interested in [x]” or “[x] makes me uncomfortable”. I will always ask if some form of physical contact is okay first before doing it, and if the answer is “no” or “not now” or “not ever”, I deal with it and won’t ask again.
Despite that I’m an extremely sensual person, no one owes me hugs, cuddles, kisses or anything. If they were things that could be owed, it would cheapen their value. The same goes for sex for people who enjoy it. I say this as a (gray Asexual) person who has transgressed a (sexual) person’s boundaries in the past and wants never to transgress anyone’s boundaries again.
If someone gives me kisses or cuddles, I want it to be because they want to do so. Not because I laid down the requirement for them to do so if they want to remain in an interpersonal relationship with me.
(Source: asexyqueer)
