It’s okay to want to have sex.
It’s okay to not want to have sex.
It’s okay to want to have sex everyday.

It’s okay to only want sex only under specific circumstances.
It’s okay to want to have sex with lots of people.
It’s okay to want to have sex with just one person.
It’s okay to not be ready for sex.

(Source: asexualeducation)

@1 year ago with 480 notes
#sex #sexuality #asexual #gray asexual #demisexual 

Sex or Society: the pressure to be attractive (an experiment)

An experiment someone conducted on 52 people of the asexual spectrum.

Check it out here: (x)

@2 years ago with 15 notes
#asexual #demisexual #gray asexual #polls and surveys 

A Gray Asexual Space 

metapianycist:

Looking for two other people to be moderators with me. To apply, write a few sentences in the submit box about why you think you would do a good job as a moderator for A Gray Asexual Space, and include your email address. Willingness to be accessible in terms of trigger warnings (as described here, here, here and here) and image descriptions (as described here and here) on the blog and your own blog is a must.

@2 years ago with 25 notes
#gray asexuality #grey asexuality #asexuality #asexual #gray asexual #grey asexual #accessibility 
violentopposites:

I don’t know how much a few cute little doodles can do to sooth the massive hurt the asexual community has been feeling, but I hope they get across the point that no matter what comes our way, nothing can erase our community. We’re here and we’re not going anywhere.

violentopposites:

I don’t know how much a few cute little doodles can do to sooth the massive hurt the asexual community has been feeling, but I hope they get across the point that no matter what comes our way, nothing can erase our community. We’re here and we’re not going anywhere.

@3 years ago with 78 notes
#asexual #asexuality #gray asexual #gray a #demisexual #demisexuality #asexual community #asexy #lgbtqa #grey asexual #grey a 

There seems to be this common misconception that experiencing libido without experiencing sexual attraction, or liking sex without experiencing sexual attraction, is the definition of gray asexuality.

metapianycist:

As an asexual person who experiences libido and likes some sexual activities, please stop equating attraction with behavior and labeling me without my consent.

My behavior doesn’t make my asexuality gray. Gray asexuality is about experiencing gray-sexual attraction, or experiencing sexual attraction very infrequently. The first three bullet points on AVENwiki’s Gray-A page describe people who experience some kind of sexual attraction, and the fourth bullet point seems to be describing demisexual people—who also experience sexual attraction.

Only the individual in question can decide whether or not they are a gray-asexual person because behavior is not attraction. I know I’m not gray asexual because I know I don’t experience sexual attraction. So stop spreading the misconception that all asexual people who aren’t sex-repulsed nonlibidoists are automatically gray asexual, because that is not true.

- your friendly neighborhood libidoist ace who likes many sexual activities

P.S. Repulsed aces and nonlibidoist aces are not ”more asexual” than other asexuals by virtue of sex repulsion or nonlibidoism either. The facts that I masturbate and that I like some sexual stuff don’t make me any less asexual than any other asexual person.

@2 years ago with 100 notes
#gray asexual 

littlemissclio-deactivated20130 said: I've been trying to find where I fit on the asexual spectrum for months. I only experience sexual attraction whenever it is with somebody who I have a VERY strong emotional connection to, so I would think I'd identify as demisexual. But here's the thing... my sexual attraction for the person I have a strong emotional attachment to is very random. Like, for a week or two I might be sexually attracted to my boyfriend and enjoy kissing him and doing other sexual things with him. [continued]

But suddenly it just turns off. I lose my sexual attraction for him. Kissing him becomes a chore, I can’t get in the mood for the life of me, it just doesn’t interest me at all. It can last anywhere from days to weeks or maybe even longer. So basically my question is, is this normal for a demisexual? Would gray-a be a better description of me even though my sexual attraction is ONLY for people who I have a strong emotional connection to? Does this sound like a health problem, not my sexuality?

Really, the only one who can determine that for yourself is you.

Since you say you only experience sexual attraction to those you’re emotionally connected with, I’d personally say that demisexual fits you, despite it not happening sometimes. I don’t think frequency really matters with that.

I am not demisexual, and I can’t say if anyone else has experiences with this, however I’m sure there are.

I shouldn’t think that it’s unheard of that sexual attraction fluctuates, though. I don’t think it would have anything to do with health, but if you have a genuine concern I wouldn’t encourage you to ignore it.

Does this happen to anyone else?

-Griff

@2 years ago with 6 notes
#slushypipps #ask #demisexual #demisexuality #asexual #asexuality #gray asexual #grey asexual 

I have come to a conclusion

emerald-ace:

Asexuality is complicated.

No, strike that. People are complicated.

It seems to me, based on things that keep popping up on my dash, that the ace community isn’t particularly good on including everybody. I think that, particularly when trying to do visibility work and Asexuality 101, we tend to make generalizations that inevitably leave someone out, which is why we have people going, “I’m being erased!” all over the place.

(This is not a criticism of people who feel erased, or who say so. I think that’s a legitimate concern. However, the fact that we have so many people saying it clearly indicates a problem in our community.)

We have aromantics who are tired of hearing, “But aces can fall in love, too!” and we have romantics who are tired of everyone assuming they’ll be alone for the rest of their lives. People who masturbate are tired of hearing that that makes them not ace, and people who don’t are tired of hearing about everyone else masturbating. Non-celibate people are tired of hearing that liking or tolerating sex makes them not ace, and celibate people are tired of hearing about sex. And while it’s understandable to want to fight the idea that all aces are somehow “damaged,” these discussions tend to shove a lot of disabled people under the metaphorical rug.

The problem is, I believe, that we’re going overboard trying to combat stereotypes. Stereotypes that all aces are aromantic, that they don’t have sex or masturbate, that they’re “broken” are vehemently denied. Which then erases people who do happen to fit the stereotype, and those people rise up and say, “We’re here too,” and are seen as perpetuating stereotypes, and it’s all a big mess.

The only thing all asexuals have in common is not experiencing sexual attraction. And even that is problematic, because it leaves out demis and grey-aces. You cannot make blanket statements about the ace community. You cannot make blanket statements about any community.

So the next time someone asks about whether aces do or don’t do such-and-such, the only really correct answer is, “I do, but some people don’t,” or “I don’t, but some people do.” “None of your business,” is also a perfectly valid response to those highly personal questions.

This is the only half-way feasible way I can think of to have any discussions at all without erasing someone.

(Source: emeraldincandescent)

@2 years ago with 36 notes
#asexual #asexuality #demisexuality #gray asexual #erasure 

It’s okay to want to have sex.
It’s okay to not want to have sex.
It’s okay to want to have sex everyday.

It’s okay to only want sex only under specific circumstances.
It’s okay to want to have sex with lots of people.
It’s okay to want to have sex with just one person.
It’s okay to not be ready for sex.

(Source: asexualeducation)

1 year ago
#sex #sexuality #asexual #gray asexual #demisexual 
There seems to be this common misconception that experiencing libido without experiencing sexual attraction, or liking sex without experiencing sexual attraction, is the definition of gray asexuality.

metapianycist:

As an asexual person who experiences libido and likes some sexual activities, please stop equating attraction with behavior and labeling me without my consent.

My behavior doesn’t make my asexuality gray. Gray asexuality is about experiencing gray-sexual attraction, or experiencing sexual attraction very infrequently. The first three bullet points on AVENwiki’s Gray-A page describe people who experience some kind of sexual attraction, and the fourth bullet point seems to be describing demisexual people—who also experience sexual attraction.

Only the individual in question can decide whether or not they are a gray-asexual person because behavior is not attraction. I know I’m not gray asexual because I know I don’t experience sexual attraction. So stop spreading the misconception that all asexual people who aren’t sex-repulsed nonlibidoists are automatically gray asexual, because that is not true.

- your friendly neighborhood libidoist ace who likes many sexual activities

P.S. Repulsed aces and nonlibidoist aces are not ”more asexual” than other asexuals by virtue of sex repulsion or nonlibidoism either. The facts that I masturbate and that I like some sexual stuff don’t make me any less asexual than any other asexual person.

2 years ago
#gray asexual 
Sex or Society: the pressure to be attractive (an experiment)

An experiment someone conducted on 52 people of the asexual spectrum.

Check it out here: (x)

2 years ago
#asexual #demisexual #gray asexual #polls and surveys 

littlemissclio-deactivated20130 said: I've been trying to find where I fit on the asexual spectrum for months. I only experience sexual attraction whenever it is with somebody who I have a VERY strong emotional connection to, so I would think I'd identify as demisexual. But here's the thing... my sexual attraction for the person I have a strong emotional attachment to is very random. Like, for a week or two I might be sexually attracted to my boyfriend and enjoy kissing him and doing other sexual things with him. [continued]

But suddenly it just turns off. I lose my sexual attraction for him. Kissing him becomes a chore, I can’t get in the mood for the life of me, it just doesn’t interest me at all. It can last anywhere from days to weeks or maybe even longer. So basically my question is, is this normal for a demisexual? Would gray-a be a better description of me even though my sexual attraction is ONLY for people who I have a strong emotional connection to? Does this sound like a health problem, not my sexuality?

Really, the only one who can determine that for yourself is you.

Since you say you only experience sexual attraction to those you’re emotionally connected with, I’d personally say that demisexual fits you, despite it not happening sometimes. I don’t think frequency really matters with that.

I am not demisexual, and I can’t say if anyone else has experiences with this, however I’m sure there are.

I shouldn’t think that it’s unheard of that sexual attraction fluctuates, though. I don’t think it would have anything to do with health, but if you have a genuine concern I wouldn’t encourage you to ignore it.

Does this happen to anyone else?

-Griff

2 years ago
#slushypipps #ask #demisexual #demisexuality #asexual #asexuality #gray asexual #grey asexual 
A Gray Asexual Space→

metapianycist:

Looking for two other people to be moderators with me. To apply, write a few sentences in the submit box about why you think you would do a good job as a moderator for A Gray Asexual Space, and include your email address. Willingness to be accessible in terms of trigger warnings (as described here, here, here and here) and image descriptions (as described here and here) on the blog and your own blog is a must.

2 years ago
#gray asexuality #grey asexuality #asexuality #asexual #gray asexual #grey asexual #accessibility 
I have come to a conclusion

emerald-ace:

Asexuality is complicated.

No, strike that. People are complicated.

It seems to me, based on things that keep popping up on my dash, that the ace community isn’t particularly good on including everybody. I think that, particularly when trying to do visibility work and Asexuality 101, we tend to make generalizations that inevitably leave someone out, which is why we have people going, “I’m being erased!” all over the place.

(This is not a criticism of people who feel erased, or who say so. I think that’s a legitimate concern. However, the fact that we have so many people saying it clearly indicates a problem in our community.)

We have aromantics who are tired of hearing, “But aces can fall in love, too!” and we have romantics who are tired of everyone assuming they’ll be alone for the rest of their lives. People who masturbate are tired of hearing that that makes them not ace, and people who don’t are tired of hearing about everyone else masturbating. Non-celibate people are tired of hearing that liking or tolerating sex makes them not ace, and celibate people are tired of hearing about sex. And while it’s understandable to want to fight the idea that all aces are somehow “damaged,” these discussions tend to shove a lot of disabled people under the metaphorical rug.

The problem is, I believe, that we’re going overboard trying to combat stereotypes. Stereotypes that all aces are aromantic, that they don’t have sex or masturbate, that they’re “broken” are vehemently denied. Which then erases people who do happen to fit the stereotype, and those people rise up and say, “We’re here too,” and are seen as perpetuating stereotypes, and it’s all a big mess.

The only thing all asexuals have in common is not experiencing sexual attraction. And even that is problematic, because it leaves out demis and grey-aces. You cannot make blanket statements about the ace community. You cannot make blanket statements about any community.

So the next time someone asks about whether aces do or don’t do such-and-such, the only really correct answer is, “I do, but some people don’t,” or “I don’t, but some people do.” “None of your business,” is also a perfectly valid response to those highly personal questions.

This is the only half-way feasible way I can think of to have any discussions at all without erasing someone.

(Source: emeraldincandescent)

2 years ago
#asexual #asexuality #demisexuality #gray asexual #erasure 
violentopposites:

I don’t know how much a few cute little doodles can do to sooth the massive hurt the asexual community has been feeling, but I hope they get across the point that no matter what comes our way, nothing can erase our community. We’re here and we’re not going anywhere.
3 years ago
#asexual #asexuality #gray asexual #gray a #demisexual #demisexuality #asexual community #asexy #lgbtqa #grey asexual #grey a