Anonymous asked: Can you explain what "romantic attraction" is? Every time someone asks "what are aromantics?" the answer is always "people who don't feel romantic attraction", but I never find a definition for what, exactly, romantic attraction is. Could you provide an example?
I will be completely honest with you: I can’t. I have no idea. And I actually don’t think anyone really knows how to describe it. I have searched a lot and have never come across one definitive or satisfactory definition.
I myself identify as aromantic, and I still do not understand what romantic attraction is or feels like. (Which I think is why I chose aromantic, because surely I’d recognize it if I felt it, right? I don’t know.)
Some people say that it is like friendship, but with sex; however, this completely erases romantic asexuals, or even aromantic sexuals, and so I don’t think this is a valid description at all.
Some people say that it is the desire to form an exclusive, life-long relationship with someone, but this also is problematic with the concept of queerplatonic/platonic/polygamous relationships.
Some people say “it’s when you keep eye-contact, want to be with/think of/talk to or about them all the time, plan to be married, etc” but I do not believe these behaviors to be exclusively romantic, and again these are behaviors and as has been said: behavior is not attraction.
I think that the only one who can really determine romantic attraction is yourself, and what you would consider it to be, which I understand is probably a completely unhelpful non-answer.
I believe that it would be useful to see other people perspectives on romantic attraction, so what do you guys personally consider romantic attraction? The more input the better. (But again, take everyone’s thoughts with a bit of salt, because they may not be applicable to you.)
@1 year ago with 23 notes
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #aromanticism #demisexual #demisexuality
"For asexuals, sex is like… a donut. When we see a donut, we do not have the urge to eat the donut. This does not necessarily mean we hate the donut, or think the donut is disgusting— many of us even like donuts. But we never have any urge to walk over there and eat it. Demisexuals will have the urge to eat the donut only if it their absolute favorite kind of donut in the whole world, and greysexuals sometimes will have the urge to get the donut, and sometimes not. Celibates are on diets."
@1 year ago with 22100 notes
#asexual #asexuality #lol #demisexual #grayasexual #celibate