ace-comics:

“What Has Love Got to do With Getting Married?” from Permanently Grounded! by Colt-kun.
Sex, marriage, and childrearing aren’t for everyone, so no one should pressure you into doing any of them if you don’t want to! Do what is best for you.

ace-comics:

“What Has Love Got to do With Getting Married?” from Permanently Grounded! by Colt-kun.

Sex, marriage, and childrearing aren’t for everyone, so no one should pressure you into doing any of them if you don’t want to! Do what is best for you.

@1 year ago with 71 notes
#asexuality #aromantic #marriage #art 

Anonymous said: Do you know any books or movies that have asexual characters?

This is such a difficult question, because so many depend upon interpretation, and if it’s an ongoing work it can change in a blink. I’ve thought of a few and scrounged up some more, but I find that a lot of these characters may be seen as a bit problematic, potentially.

The three obvious and most referred to characters recently, are, of course: Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes), The Doctor (Doctor Who), and Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory).

The issue with the first two are that, since they’ve been around so long, it depends on the writer/adaptation/interpretation. I haven’t seen TBBT, but I hear he’s said to be that, I don’t know how explicitly and I hear that changes as the show goes on.

There is Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, which is a favorite of mine. Although they are stated to be asexual unless they “make an effort” and since they are an angel and a demon, the asexual note most likely refers more to just them being generally genderless and naturally not experiencing human things like that since they aren’t human.

Canonically, Luffy from One Piece. Alan from The Hangover, according to the writers (they also say he’ll never get married so I’m not sure if they mean he’s aromantic as well or are misunderstanding what asexual means or what). Dexter Morgan from Dexter. Data from Star Trek, but he’s an android.

While I don’t know of the characters themselves, I find that many asexuals appreciate Studio Ghibli films for their lack of focus on sexual and romantic plot points and characterizations in favor of platonic friendship.

A good website dedicated to various forms of media is this one and here is a page dedicated to asexual characters (confirmed or suspected): (x)

Anyone have any other additions, please let me know, this is a common question and it’s difficult to track many down.

-Griff

@2 years ago with 33 notes
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #asexy 

Anonymous said: What do you think of the Human Rights Campaign? They don't seem to have much material on asexuality.

I’m really sorry, but I don’t know much about it at all and so don’t feel comfortable forming an opinion on it. Even looking it up a bit, I can see their goals and such, but can’t really see the methods they go about achieving them. So while I might be able to appreciate their purpose, I don’t know if their methods of achieving their goals are problematic or not.

I’m not surprised at all at their lack of asexuality stuff, though. Besides the ongoing debate on whether asexuality falls under the queer umbrella or not, we still have yet to achieve basic visibility and are still having issues dealing with the acceptance of the validity of our orientation. (Also, since I don’t really know much about what that campaign does, I don’t know how asexuality would fit into it, either. For example, I wouldn’t know what sort of rights would be denied an asexual unless they weren’t heteroromantic as well, but those sort of issues would fall more under similar-gender relationship rights/discrimination than those related to asexuality itself.)

Apologies for the non-answer, I just don’t want to attempt to talk about something I’m not informed on. Sorry I can’t really give much of a discussion, this would have been an interesting topic, otherwise.

Do any of you guys have an opinion on this campaign and organization? (Please keep it civil.)

-Griff

@2 years ago with 7 notes
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality 
pinstripesuit:

Photo from the ace group at Boston Pride yesterday!  It was fun meeting everyone. We ended up jumping into the parade, because two of our members were part of another group in the parade, so we had our own little ace contingent. I’m the one in the “The ‘A’ in Asexual Stands for Awesome” shirt.
Photo posted with permission of the photographer. (Source)

pinstripesuit:

Photo from the ace group at Boston Pride yesterday!  It was fun meeting everyone. We ended up jumping into the parade, because two of our members were part of another group in the parade, so we had our own little ace contingent. I’m the one in the “The ‘A’ in Asexual Stands for Awesome” shirt.

Photo posted with permission of the photographer. (Source)

@2 years ago with 69 notes
#asexuality #pride 

buttmunchersanon said: ok so pardon my ignorance since I'm new to the whole asexual game here (meaning i just recently learned what it really was) but it seems like the term "asexual" has a lot of gray area. like, just about anyone could be considered asexual at any point in time? It just seems kind of silly to put all these different labels on our sexuality when it can be so fluid, I dunno. And it has me questioning my own as well lol. hope this isn't too confusing or near-sighted :)

Ignorance isn’t bad as long as you ask questions and try to do something about it, which you seem to be doing, so it’s fine. c:

Asexuality does have a gray area, but that doesn’t mean that it’s inclusive to anyone and everyone at some point. I really don’t think that is, at least. Usually when people are at the point where they’re having to go through the process of questioning their sexuality and asexuality is one of the identities they are considering, then it probably has a significant effect on how they perceive themselves or relate to other people or interact in their social environment. The gray spectrum of asexuality exists because while sexuality is difficult to define, even people in the gray are still experiencing things differently enough from most other people to merit that distinction. So while it’s true non-ace-spec people generally don’t experience sexual attraction to every single person of the preferred gender they meet, it’s still enough that it doesn’t affect how they identify with others or society. So I just highly doubt that everyone could be considered asexual at some point.

And even if everyone could be considered ace-spec at some point, what about all of the people who are asexual their entire lives? Should they just not call themselves asexual because it happens to everyone?

There also seems to be an increasing stigma against labels for sexuality and gender identities, and I wish that that wasn’t so. I used to be a bit against labels too, until I understood what they were really about. Sure, I do support the whole “everyone’s human” thing and “labels shouldn’t define you” stuff, to a point. It’s very true that sexuality can be fluid (although not always or even all that often often, really), and it’s certainly difficult to define since it’s such a wide spectrum, but labels and identities are a lot more important than they’re given credit for.

Human beings like being able to define things, they appreciate comprehensibility and order as that brings them stability. Stability is basically what people strive for, as it makes survival easier and less stressful, it’s just an instinctual thing. Finding something that they fit with gives them that. It also allows them to feel less alone and alienated, which is also very important as humans are social animals (at an instinctual level, so even people who don’t like much company still have an innate, if unconscious, need for familiarity). When people take on an asexual identity, they discover something that they have in common with millions of other people. Having something in common with so many in the midst of a society that makes them feel unwelcome or even non-existent is a really good comfort to have. They have a connection with other people with similar circumstances or experiences.

Labels are more than just words people slap on willy-nilly (although some people do do that). They help people understand themselves and connect to or relate with other people. It’s really important because there have been some people who have actually been incredibly upset about themselves and even suicidal over this difference that they have before discovering asexuality. That label gives them something they can understand and people they can be supported by. Not even actively, but sometimes just with the simple fact of knowing there are others.

I do hope that you figure everything out, though. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to drop another ask.

-Griff

@2 years ago with 16 notes
#my happy medium #ask #asexual #asexuality 
conversationbubbles:

Went shopping with my friend around Ewha and found this little asexual gem of a bag. Just 10.000 won. Instant buy!!

conversationbubbles:

Went shopping with my friend around Ewha and found this little asexual gem of a bag. Just 10.000 won. Instant buy!!

@1 year ago with 24 notes
#asexuality #asexual #asexy 
redbeardace:

Yeah, maybe I should’ve just left the back cover blank…  I don’t know, is that text horrible?

Pardon my ignorance, but can you direct me to where it’s called the fourth orientation? I’ve never seen it called that, (I’ve checked the main asexual sites but I may have missed it) and I don’t think that even makes sense, either, truthfully.  Heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality would already be four and pansexuality, while not always accepted, is actually far more well known than asexuality; I don’t think the potential erasure of pansexuality would be very welcomed or advisable.
I also might be nitpicking, but I see a fairly significant problem with the use of the word “the"in "the asexual point of view”. That “the" is definitive, even if unintentionally. No asexual is the same, and that "the" implies a universal opinion and that’s just not so. While I know it’s just a bit of vocabulary, I think word choices and the implications thereof are incredibly important when speaking in an authoritative manner on something so obscure as asexuality. So that is just something I’d urge you to consider.
I don’t mean to step on toes, I do believe the more asexual material the merrier, just I think these could be potential issues that could be a bit harmful, to be honest. Sorry if this criticism is unwelcome, I just am a bit concerned about it.
-Griff

redbeardace:

Yeah, maybe I should’ve just left the back cover blank…  I don’t know, is that text horrible?

Pardon my ignorance, but can you direct me to where it’s called the fourth orientation? I’ve never seen it called that, (I’ve checked the main asexual sites but I may have missed it) and I don’t think that even makes sense, either, truthfully.  Heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality would already be four and pansexuality, while not always accepted, is actually far more well known than asexuality; I don’t think the potential erasure of pansexuality would be very welcomed or advisable.

I also might be nitpicking, but I see a fairly significant problem with the use of the word “the"in "the asexual point of view”. That “the" is definitive, even if unintentionally. No asexual is the same, and that "the" implies a universal opinion and that’s just not so. While I know it’s just a bit of vocabulary, I think word choices and the implications thereof are incredibly important when speaking in an authoritative manner on something so obscure as asexuality. So that is just something I’d urge you to consider.

I don’t mean to step on toes, I do believe the more asexual material the merrier, just I think these could be potential issues that could be a bit harmful, to be honest. Sorry if this criticism is unwelcome, I just am a bit concerned about it.

-Griff

@2 years ago with 23 notes
#asexual #asexuality #asexuality book 

Carnival of Aces

Hi,

I hope this is ok to submit, but I wanted to spread the word about Carnival of Aces, being hosted at my blog this month. It’s a blog carnival for posts related to asexuality. This month’s theme is “compulsory sexuality.” You can find more information here.

@2 years ago with 14 notes
#asexual #asexuality #ace #submission #ace community #fun stuff 

PSA: No sexual orientation is superior to other sexual orientations.

blackandwhitestriped:

…because I keep seeing really embarrassing conflicts between asexual people and non-asexual people…

Being asexual doesn’t make you a better person because you have more time to think about other things besides sex, because your relationships are more pure or enlightened than sexual ones, or whatever other ridiculous reasons you’re inventing. Stop that. First of all, non-asexual people will tell you that these assumptions are flat out untrue. Just because someone is not asexual doesn’t mean that they spend all of their time thinking about sex and are unable to see the world through any other lens. Even if that’s not what you meant to convey, that’s what it looks like a lot of the time, so please consider what you’ve written before you post these types of things because they can be incredibly hurtful, especially to certain groups who have to deal with being hypersexualized by society on a regular basis. Second, many of these views can look a whole lot like slut-shaming. That’s really not ok, and definitely not the type of views that I want being associated with my orientation.

Not being asexual doesn’t make you a better person either. Yes, there are quite a few asexual people who phrase their confusion about sexual attraction in really problematic ways and deserve to be called out for it, but it seems like this eventually devolves into (or sometimes initially starts out as) people who experience sexual attraction making fun of or harassing those who don’t, purely because they don’t. Asexual people are not immature or wrong for not experiencing or understanding sexual attraction, just as those who do experience sexual attraction are not wrong for doing so and for not understanding what it means to not experience it. Telling asexual people that they’re missing out by not having sexual relationships, that their relationships don’t really count, or anything else that seeks (intentionally or not) to discredit asexuality as a valid orientation is damaging and solves nothing.

To sum it up on a more general level…
It is ok to have feelings or experiences that are different than those of other people.
It is ok to not understand others’ feelings or experiences when you have never had them yourself.
However, it is not ok to assume that you can speak for those feelings or experiences without knowing them firsthand and without educating yourself, and it is not ok to attack, mock, or shame anyone for having feelings or experiences different than your own, as long as they are not causing any harm.
Got it? 

@2 years ago with 114 notes
#asexuality 

Wipe Out Homophobia Website Adds Asexuality Page 

(Source: ace-reporter)

@2 years ago with 46 notes
#asexuality #asexual #lgbt #GSM #organizations 
ace-comics:

“What Has Love Got to do With Getting Married?” from Permanently Grounded! by Colt-kun.
Sex, marriage, and childrearing aren’t for everyone, so no one should pressure you into doing any of them if you don’t want to! Do what is best for you.
1 year ago
#asexuality #aromantic #marriage #art 
conversationbubbles:

Went shopping with my friend around Ewha and found this little asexual gem of a bag. Just 10.000 won. Instant buy!!
1 year ago
#asexuality #asexual #asexy 

Anonymous said: Do you know any books or movies that have asexual characters?

This is such a difficult question, because so many depend upon interpretation, and if it’s an ongoing work it can change in a blink. I’ve thought of a few and scrounged up some more, but I find that a lot of these characters may be seen as a bit problematic, potentially.

The three obvious and most referred to characters recently, are, of course: Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes), The Doctor (Doctor Who), and Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory).

The issue with the first two are that, since they’ve been around so long, it depends on the writer/adaptation/interpretation. I haven’t seen TBBT, but I hear he’s said to be that, I don’t know how explicitly and I hear that changes as the show goes on.

There is Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, which is a favorite of mine. Although they are stated to be asexual unless they “make an effort” and since they are an angel and a demon, the asexual note most likely refers more to just them being generally genderless and naturally not experiencing human things like that since they aren’t human.

Canonically, Luffy from One Piece. Alan from The Hangover, according to the writers (they also say he’ll never get married so I’m not sure if they mean he’s aromantic as well or are misunderstanding what asexual means or what). Dexter Morgan from Dexter. Data from Star Trek, but he’s an android.

While I don’t know of the characters themselves, I find that many asexuals appreciate Studio Ghibli films for their lack of focus on sexual and romantic plot points and characterizations in favor of platonic friendship.

A good website dedicated to various forms of media is this one and here is a page dedicated to asexual characters (confirmed or suspected): (x)

Anyone have any other additions, please let me know, this is a common question and it’s difficult to track many down.

-Griff

2 years ago
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #asexy 
redbeardace:

Yeah, maybe I should’ve just left the back cover blank…  I don’t know, is that text horrible?

Pardon my ignorance, but can you direct me to where it’s called the fourth orientation? I’ve never seen it called that, (I’ve checked the main asexual sites but I may have missed it) and I don’t think that even makes sense, either, truthfully.  Heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality would already be four and pansexuality, while not always accepted, is actually far more well known than asexuality; I don’t think the potential erasure of pansexuality would be very welcomed or advisable.
I also might be nitpicking, but I see a fairly significant problem with the use of the word “the"in "the asexual point of view”. That “the" is definitive, even if unintentionally. No asexual is the same, and that "the" implies a universal opinion and that’s just not so. While I know it’s just a bit of vocabulary, I think word choices and the implications thereof are incredibly important when speaking in an authoritative manner on something so obscure as asexuality. So that is just something I’d urge you to consider.
I don’t mean to step on toes, I do believe the more asexual material the merrier, just I think these could be potential issues that could be a bit harmful, to be honest. Sorry if this criticism is unwelcome, I just am a bit concerned about it.
-Griff
2 years ago
#asexual #asexuality #asexuality book 

Anonymous said: What do you think of the Human Rights Campaign? They don't seem to have much material on asexuality.

I’m really sorry, but I don’t know much about it at all and so don’t feel comfortable forming an opinion on it. Even looking it up a bit, I can see their goals and such, but can’t really see the methods they go about achieving them. So while I might be able to appreciate their purpose, I don’t know if their methods of achieving their goals are problematic or not.

I’m not surprised at all at their lack of asexuality stuff, though. Besides the ongoing debate on whether asexuality falls under the queer umbrella or not, we still have yet to achieve basic visibility and are still having issues dealing with the acceptance of the validity of our orientation. (Also, since I don’t really know much about what that campaign does, I don’t know how asexuality would fit into it, either. For example, I wouldn’t know what sort of rights would be denied an asexual unless they weren’t heteroromantic as well, but those sort of issues would fall more under similar-gender relationship rights/discrimination than those related to asexuality itself.)

Apologies for the non-answer, I just don’t want to attempt to talk about something I’m not informed on. Sorry I can’t really give much of a discussion, this would have been an interesting topic, otherwise.

Do any of you guys have an opinion on this campaign and organization? (Please keep it civil.)

-Griff

2 years ago
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality 
Carnival of Aces

Hi,

I hope this is ok to submit, but I wanted to spread the word about Carnival of Aces, being hosted at my blog this month. It’s a blog carnival for posts related to asexuality. This month’s theme is “compulsory sexuality.” You can find more information here.

2 years ago
#asexual #asexuality #ace #submission #ace community #fun stuff 
pinstripesuit:

Photo from the ace group at Boston Pride yesterday!  It was fun meeting everyone. We ended up jumping into the parade, because two of our members were part of another group in the parade, so we had our own little ace contingent. I’m the one in the “The ‘A’ in Asexual Stands for Awesome” shirt.
Photo posted with permission of the photographer. (Source)
2 years ago
#asexuality #pride 
PSA: No sexual orientation is superior to other sexual orientations.

blackandwhitestriped:

…because I keep seeing really embarrassing conflicts between asexual people and non-asexual people…

Being asexual doesn’t make you a better person because you have more time to think about other things besides sex, because your relationships are more pure or enlightened than sexual ones, or whatever other ridiculous reasons you’re inventing. Stop that. First of all, non-asexual people will tell you that these assumptions are flat out untrue. Just because someone is not asexual doesn’t mean that they spend all of their time thinking about sex and are unable to see the world through any other lens. Even if that’s not what you meant to convey, that’s what it looks like a lot of the time, so please consider what you’ve written before you post these types of things because they can be incredibly hurtful, especially to certain groups who have to deal with being hypersexualized by society on a regular basis. Second, many of these views can look a whole lot like slut-shaming. That’s really not ok, and definitely not the type of views that I want being associated with my orientation.

Not being asexual doesn’t make you a better person either. Yes, there are quite a few asexual people who phrase their confusion about sexual attraction in really problematic ways and deserve to be called out for it, but it seems like this eventually devolves into (or sometimes initially starts out as) people who experience sexual attraction making fun of or harassing those who don’t, purely because they don’t. Asexual people are not immature or wrong for not experiencing or understanding sexual attraction, just as those who do experience sexual attraction are not wrong for doing so and for not understanding what it means to not experience it. Telling asexual people that they’re missing out by not having sexual relationships, that their relationships don’t really count, or anything else that seeks (intentionally or not) to discredit asexuality as a valid orientation is damaging and solves nothing.

To sum it up on a more general level…
It is ok to have feelings or experiences that are different than those of other people.
It is ok to not understand others’ feelings or experiences when you have never had them yourself.
However, it is not ok to assume that you can speak for those feelings or experiences without knowing them firsthand and without educating yourself, and it is not ok to attack, mock, or shame anyone for having feelings or experiences different than your own, as long as they are not causing any harm.
Got it? 

2 years ago
#asexuality 

buttmunchersanon said: ok so pardon my ignorance since I'm new to the whole asexual game here (meaning i just recently learned what it really was) but it seems like the term "asexual" has a lot of gray area. like, just about anyone could be considered asexual at any point in time? It just seems kind of silly to put all these different labels on our sexuality when it can be so fluid, I dunno. And it has me questioning my own as well lol. hope this isn't too confusing or near-sighted :)

Ignorance isn’t bad as long as you ask questions and try to do something about it, which you seem to be doing, so it’s fine. c:

Asexuality does have a gray area, but that doesn’t mean that it’s inclusive to anyone and everyone at some point. I really don’t think that is, at least. Usually when people are at the point where they’re having to go through the process of questioning their sexuality and asexuality is one of the identities they are considering, then it probably has a significant effect on how they perceive themselves or relate to other people or interact in their social environment. The gray spectrum of asexuality exists because while sexuality is difficult to define, even people in the gray are still experiencing things differently enough from most other people to merit that distinction. So while it’s true non-ace-spec people generally don’t experience sexual attraction to every single person of the preferred gender they meet, it’s still enough that it doesn’t affect how they identify with others or society. So I just highly doubt that everyone could be considered asexual at some point.

And even if everyone could be considered ace-spec at some point, what about all of the people who are asexual their entire lives? Should they just not call themselves asexual because it happens to everyone?

There also seems to be an increasing stigma against labels for sexuality and gender identities, and I wish that that wasn’t so. I used to be a bit against labels too, until I understood what they were really about. Sure, I do support the whole “everyone’s human” thing and “labels shouldn’t define you” stuff, to a point. It’s very true that sexuality can be fluid (although not always or even all that often often, really), and it’s certainly difficult to define since it’s such a wide spectrum, but labels and identities are a lot more important than they’re given credit for.

Human beings like being able to define things, they appreciate comprehensibility and order as that brings them stability. Stability is basically what people strive for, as it makes survival easier and less stressful, it’s just an instinctual thing. Finding something that they fit with gives them that. It also allows them to feel less alone and alienated, which is also very important as humans are social animals (at an instinctual level, so even people who don’t like much company still have an innate, if unconscious, need for familiarity). When people take on an asexual identity, they discover something that they have in common with millions of other people. Having something in common with so many in the midst of a society that makes them feel unwelcome or even non-existent is a really good comfort to have. They have a connection with other people with similar circumstances or experiences.

Labels are more than just words people slap on willy-nilly (although some people do do that). They help people understand themselves and connect to or relate with other people. It’s really important because there have been some people who have actually been incredibly upset about themselves and even suicidal over this difference that they have before discovering asexuality. That label gives them something they can understand and people they can be supported by. Not even actively, but sometimes just with the simple fact of knowing there are others.

I do hope that you figure everything out, though. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to drop another ask.

-Griff

2 years ago
#my happy medium #ask #asexual #asexuality 
Wipe Out Homophobia Website Adds Asexuality Page→

(Source: ace-reporter)

2 years ago
#asexuality #asexual #lgbt #GSM #organizations