(In case you forget, this was my last message I sent you: I’m sure I’m aromantic, but I don’t think I understand it enough at all so I’m confused. I’ve only ever ever felt lust and friendship for someone. I mean, romantic attraction is still just an ATTRACTION, right? So like, I watch romance movies and I wish I could have a romantic relationship with someone, and I always feel like I can and do (maybe) have romantic attraction, but it gets easily confused with lust. Does this make any sense? If it doesn’t I can submit but do you think I’m aromantic?)

——-

My biggest problem is it’s so easy to confuse lust with romance. I always fall into relationships purely on lust, but when that withers away like lust usually does, I get completely stuck. I’ve always thought of myself as a hopeless romantic before even discovering what aromantics are, so when I see someone and I believe with all of my heart it is romantic attraction, it always happens to be lust.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’ve never ever ever had a pure, true romantic attraction to someone, but I don’t know if I’m incapable of doing so. Like I said, it’s not a true romantic attraction, because lust gets in my way so easily. Lust and squishes are the hardest things to mix together. 

Hopefully this was explained better, asks always make it hard to send everything you want. I can always send this to an aromantic blog/forum, but I don’t follow any yet and I’ve known you guys for forever so it’s just a bit more comfortable I guess. Thank you!

A read more because the reply got sort of long.

Read More

@1 year ago with 4 notes
#fabjewlous #aromantic #submission #also no matter what i tried the formatting got wonky with the italics sorry 
ace-comics:

“What Has Love Got to do With Getting Married?” from Permanently Grounded! by Colt-kun.
Sex, marriage, and childrearing aren’t for everyone, so no one should pressure you into doing any of them if you don’t want to! Do what is best for you.

ace-comics:

“What Has Love Got to do With Getting Married?” from Permanently Grounded! by Colt-kun.

Sex, marriage, and childrearing aren’t for everyone, so no one should pressure you into doing any of them if you don’t want to! Do what is best for you.

@1 year ago with 71 notes
#asexuality #aromantic #marriage #art 

Anonymous said: I like watching Studio Ghibli films because I can relate them with asexuality (even if it's unintentional), because there are a lot of movies involving two people that don't end up in sexual or romantic relationships, and it's just so refreshing. I wonder if other people feel the same or agree?

I’ve only seen one Ghibli film, but this is an interesting question, thank you!

How do you guys feel?

-Griff

@2 years ago with 32 notes
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic 

Anonymous said: Hi, I was just wondering if since I am 15 years old if that is too young to consider my self asexual? I've never had any sexual experiences or had a boyfriend or even been kissed. I consider myself a romantic gray-a. Is this jumping to conclusions? I feel attraction to people in the sense that I want to cuddle or hold their hands. I suppose I'm not sure if asexuality is a scapegoat for my young undeveloped mind or if it is actually who I am.

There is never “too young” to determine one’s orientation. If you feel asexual or gray romantic now, then you are asexual/gray aromantic now. It could change later on, sexuality is fluid, but at the moment, you are if you feel that you are.

You also do not need any sexual, sensual, or romantic experience to determine if you are, either. Some asexuals can have/enjoy/want sex, so experience has nothing to do with it. Some aromantics can have relationships. Behavior is not attraction.

What you describe (the cuddling, etc) is considered sensual attraction, which is the desire to engage in sensual, but not inherently sexual, activities and affection.

You are whoever you feel like you are. If it changes- ok; if it doesn’t- ok. Don’t worry about identifying because of the fear of change.

-Griff

@2 years ago with 4 notes
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #gray aromantic 

Welcome to Queerplatonic Match!

qpmatch:

This tumblr is a safe space for people of all romantic and sexual orientations who are looking for a special someone (or several!) for…well, whatever it is you’d do in your ideal queerplatonic relationship! It may be of special interest to (some) people on the aromantic spectrum.

Submit a photo if you’d like, a little bit about yourself, or even just a link to your tumblr or the best ways to contact you. Do all of these things if you’d like, too! Whatever you want to do is fine. :3

Signal boosting is always cool.

@2 years ago with 101 notes
#aromantic #queerplatonic #signal boost 

List of Aromantic Resources

metapianycist:

Aromantic-spectrum & QP Resource Blogs on Tumblr

Aromantic visual resources

Aromantic Tumblrers (who blog about it and/or have friendly askboxes)

Aromantic Resources off-Tumblr

@1 year ago with 260 notes
#aromantic #queerplatonic #resources 

c0nflicting:

Society needs to learn both that asexuality is not synonymous with aromanticism and more importantly, that romance and sex are not intrinsically linked. Sex cannot turn you on to romance, if you’re aromantic. Romance cannot turn you onto sex, if you’re asexual. By which I mean, your orientation is not determined by the acts in which your partake. Liking sex doesn’t change your asexuality, wanting romance doesn’t mean you’ll like sex, having or liking sex won’t transform you into someone who wants romance if you didn’t want beforehand, etc. 

(via outlawroad)

@2 years ago with 208 notes
#aromantic #asexual 

Anonymous said: Can you be aromatic and date? Like you really like being around that person and never want them to leave but the romantic attraction is never there?

Yes you can. Plenty of aromantics engage in relationships and/or dates (many that can also be typically considered romantic in nature).

Behavior is not attraction.

-Griff

@2 years ago with 2 notes
#Anonymous #ask #aromantic 

Anonymous said: Okay, so this might sounds a little stupid, but do other people sometimes feel like everything is pointless? Society and the Media tell us every day, in every movie, every tv show, everything, that it's all about finding love, finding a partner, making a family, possibly to have kids. I will never have that and I don't even know. Sometimes it seems like my life is pointless. Is that common?

I do hear that is a pretty common mindset, unfortunately.

But it really is okay. Romantic love and relationships really aren’t everything, not even close. And I know that being faced with that sort of attitude in absolutely everything everywhere makes it really difficult to believe, but it really is true. Modern society is a very poisonous environment to be in for asexual and aromantic spectrum people, and many other GSM spectrum people, too. But there is far more to life than finding a partner and falling in love and starting a family, those aren’t parts of life that are for everyone.

There are definitely points beyond that.

I can’t really list any, because they are personal ideals that vary with each individual and there are few universal values. It will just take a bit of self-analysis to determine what it is for you that you want out of life.

But there is a point, you just have to determine what it is for yourself and not allow anyone else to tell you what it is for you.

-Griff

@2 years ago with 19 notes
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #aromanticism 

"Those who cannot conceive of Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend."

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves, “Friendship”  (via outlawroad)

(via outlawroad-deactivated20130412)

@2 years ago with 8767 notes
#aromantic #friendship #platonic love #nonsexual love 

(In case you forget, this was my last message I sent you: I’m sure I’m aromantic, but I don’t think I understand it enough at all so I’m confused. I’ve only ever ever felt lust and friendship for someone. I mean, romantic attraction is still just an ATTRACTION, right? So like, I watch romance movies and I wish I could have a romantic relationship with someone, and I always feel like I can and do (maybe) have romantic attraction, but it gets easily confused with lust. Does this make any sense? If it doesn’t I can submit but do you think I’m aromantic?)

——-

My biggest problem is it’s so easy to confuse lust with romance. I always fall into relationships purely on lust, but when that withers away like lust usually does, I get completely stuck. I’ve always thought of myself as a hopeless romantic before even discovering what aromantics are, so when I see someone and I believe with all of my heart it is romantic attraction, it always happens to be lust.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’ve never ever ever had a pure, true romantic attraction to someone, but I don’t know if I’m incapable of doing so. Like I said, it’s not a true romantic attraction, because lust gets in my way so easily. Lust and squishes are the hardest things to mix together. 

Hopefully this was explained better, asks always make it hard to send everything you want. I can always send this to an aromantic blog/forum, but I don’t follow any yet and I’ve known you guys for forever so it’s just a bit more comfortable I guess. Thank you!

A read more because the reply got sort of long.

Read More

1 year ago
#fabjewlous #aromantic #submission #also no matter what i tried the formatting got wonky with the italics sorry 
List of Aromantic Resources

metapianycist:

Aromantic-spectrum & QP Resource Blogs on Tumblr

Aromantic visual resources

Aromantic Tumblrers (who blog about it and/or have friendly askboxes)

Aromantic Resources off-Tumblr

1 year ago
#aromantic #queerplatonic #resources 
ace-comics:

“What Has Love Got to do With Getting Married?” from Permanently Grounded! by Colt-kun.
Sex, marriage, and childrearing aren’t for everyone, so no one should pressure you into doing any of them if you don’t want to! Do what is best for you.
1 year ago
#asexuality #aromantic #marriage #art 

c0nflicting:

Society needs to learn both that asexuality is not synonymous with aromanticism and more importantly, that romance and sex are not intrinsically linked. Sex cannot turn you on to romance, if you’re aromantic. Romance cannot turn you onto sex, if you’re asexual. By which I mean, your orientation is not determined by the acts in which your partake. Liking sex doesn’t change your asexuality, wanting romance doesn’t mean you’ll like sex, having or liking sex won’t transform you into someone who wants romance if you didn’t want beforehand, etc. 

(via outlawroad)

2 years ago
#aromantic #asexual 

Anonymous said: I like watching Studio Ghibli films because I can relate them with asexuality (even if it's unintentional), because there are a lot of movies involving two people that don't end up in sexual or romantic relationships, and it's just so refreshing. I wonder if other people feel the same or agree?

I’ve only seen one Ghibli film, but this is an interesting question, thank you!

How do you guys feel?

-Griff

2 years ago
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic 

Anonymous said: Can you be aromatic and date? Like you really like being around that person and never want them to leave but the romantic attraction is never there?

Yes you can. Plenty of aromantics engage in relationships and/or dates (many that can also be typically considered romantic in nature).

Behavior is not attraction.

-Griff

2 years ago
#Anonymous #ask #aromantic 

Anonymous said: Hi, I was just wondering if since I am 15 years old if that is too young to consider my self asexual? I've never had any sexual experiences or had a boyfriend or even been kissed. I consider myself a romantic gray-a. Is this jumping to conclusions? I feel attraction to people in the sense that I want to cuddle or hold their hands. I suppose I'm not sure if asexuality is a scapegoat for my young undeveloped mind or if it is actually who I am.

There is never “too young” to determine one’s orientation. If you feel asexual or gray romantic now, then you are asexual/gray aromantic now. It could change later on, sexuality is fluid, but at the moment, you are if you feel that you are.

You also do not need any sexual, sensual, or romantic experience to determine if you are, either. Some asexuals can have/enjoy/want sex, so experience has nothing to do with it. Some aromantics can have relationships. Behavior is not attraction.

What you describe (the cuddling, etc) is considered sensual attraction, which is the desire to engage in sensual, but not inherently sexual, activities and affection.

You are whoever you feel like you are. If it changes- ok; if it doesn’t- ok. Don’t worry about identifying because of the fear of change.

-Griff

2 years ago
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #gray aromantic 

Anonymous said: Okay, so this might sounds a little stupid, but do other people sometimes feel like everything is pointless? Society and the Media tell us every day, in every movie, every tv show, everything, that it's all about finding love, finding a partner, making a family, possibly to have kids. I will never have that and I don't even know. Sometimes it seems like my life is pointless. Is that common?

I do hear that is a pretty common mindset, unfortunately.

But it really is okay. Romantic love and relationships really aren’t everything, not even close. And I know that being faced with that sort of attitude in absolutely everything everywhere makes it really difficult to believe, but it really is true. Modern society is a very poisonous environment to be in for asexual and aromantic spectrum people, and many other GSM spectrum people, too. But there is far more to life than finding a partner and falling in love and starting a family, those aren’t parts of life that are for everyone.

There are definitely points beyond that.

I can’t really list any, because they are personal ideals that vary with each individual and there are few universal values. It will just take a bit of self-analysis to determine what it is for you that you want out of life.

But there is a point, you just have to determine what it is for yourself and not allow anyone else to tell you what it is for you.

-Griff

2 years ago
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #aromanticism 
Welcome to Queerplatonic Match!

qpmatch:

This tumblr is a safe space for people of all romantic and sexual orientations who are looking for a special someone (or several!) for…well, whatever it is you’d do in your ideal queerplatonic relationship! It may be of special interest to (some) people on the aromantic spectrum.

Submit a photo if you’d like, a little bit about yourself, or even just a link to your tumblr or the best ways to contact you. Do all of these things if you’d like, too! Whatever you want to do is fine. :3

Signal boosting is always cool.

2 years ago
#aromantic #queerplatonic #signal boost 
"Those who cannot conceive of Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend."
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves, “Friendship”  (via outlawroad)

(via outlawroad-deactivated20130412)

2 years ago
#aromantic #friendship #platonic love #nonsexual love