Anonymous said: re heteroromantic=straight. That whole debate makes me so uncomfortable, mostly b/c, from my experiences, 90% of the time the people calling heteroromantic aces "straight" are doing so to try and force the label onto them, or force them away from using a label they don't agree with (ex: the whole debate about whether heteroromantic aces count as "queer" or not). (Emphasis on the "my experiences" part, of course; I'm sure other people have seen it happen differently.)
Yeah, I completely agree, I’ve seen the same. That’s why I avoided saying yes or no. I’d really rather leave it up to the individual, for the exact reasons you pointed out.
@2 years ago with 6 notes
Anonymous said: What's the difference between being sex-repulsed and having erotophobia?
I think the keyword there is ‘phobia’. A phobia is an anxiety disorder and is something that is severely distressing and can be potentially debilitating. I think conflating ‘repulsion/aversion’ with ‘phobia’ is a bit of a problem in language right now, because people forget that a phobia is an actual psychological condition. Nowadays people use it to describe something they simply don’t like or makes them uncomfortable. Which isn’t fair to people who actually suffer from them.
Most sex repulsed individuals do not have such an extreme negative response that would equate it to a phobia. Also, some sex-repulsed might simply be disgusted by the thought of sex where they are concerned, but not care when it’s other people. That being said, it’s possible that some sex-repulsed individuals might be erotophobic.
Browsing some articles brings up a scale, too actually, so if you choose to look at it as a pole on a scale rather than the actual condition, then erotophobia would be one end and erotophilia would be on the other, and sex-repulsed would be in between, but closer toward the former.
@2 years ago with 8 notes
Anonymous said: I consider myself ace since i'm not sexually attracted to anyone but (and this has been bothering me for a bit) I do get turned on by voices (particularly when singing). it's not directed towards the person with that voice, the sound is just really pleasing and arouses me. although, sometimes I wouldn't be bothered by doing sexual acts with the person who possesses that voice. am I still ace?
Since you say that it’s only to the sound and not the actual person I think you’d still be ace. Arousal and attraction are not the same.
This question has come up before, if I remember correctly, and I think the confusion might come from the fact that noises are a less physical form of stimulus than people would expect to cause arousal.
Having sex is irrelevant to whether you are asexual or not.
It’s up to you if you still feel comfortable as identifying either way, though.
@2 years ago with 3 notes
Anonymous said: Do you know any books or movies that have asexual characters?
This is such a difficult question, because so many depend upon interpretation, and if it’s an ongoing work it can change in a blink. I’ve thought of a few and scrounged up some more, but I find that a lot of these characters may be seen as a bit problematic, potentially.
The three obvious and most referred to characters recently, are, of course: Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes), The Doctor (Doctor Who), and Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory).
The issue with the first two are that, since they’ve been around so long, it depends on the writer/adaptation/interpretation. I haven’t seen TBBT, but I hear he’s said to be that, I don’t know how explicitly and I hear that changes as the show goes on.
There is Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, which is a favorite of mine. Although they are stated to be asexual unless they “make an effort” and since they are an angel and a demon, the asexual note most likely refers more to just them being generally genderless and naturally not experiencing human things like that since they aren’t human.
Canonically, Luffy from One Piece. Alan from The Hangover, according to the writers (they also say he’ll never get married so I’m not sure if they mean he’s aromantic as well or are misunderstanding what asexual means or what). Dexter Morgan from Dexter. Data from Star Trek, but he’s an android.
While I don’t know of the characters themselves, I find that many asexuals appreciate Studio Ghibli films for their lack of focus on sexual and romantic plot points and characterizations in favor of platonic friendship.
A good website dedicated to various forms of media is this one and here is a page dedicated to asexual characters (confirmed or suspected): (x)
Anyone have any other additions, please let me know, this is a common question and it’s difficult to track many down.
@2 years ago with 33 notes
#Anonymous #ask #asexual #asexuality #asexy
Anonymous said: Is it possible to explain more on grey-a please?
Gray asexuality is basically sort of a middle point between asexuality an non-asexuality.
Basically you experience sexual attraction occasionally, but not enough to consider yourself fully any of the other sexualities.
I think a big thing that prompts people to identify as gray-a is that their experiences and their ability to relate to people is significantly altered enough by the patterns of their attraction to warrant that distinction.
Just things such as the frequency of their attraction or the conditions required to experience it is lower or more specific than is common.
Wiki entry: (x)
@2 years ago with 14 notes