Anonymous asked: Is there any asexual blogs on tumblr where you can meet other asexuals? Like the other 'fuckyeahlesbians' and stuff?

The only one I really know of specifically geared toward meeting people is Ace Seeking X (x), and that one hasn’t seemed to be active since January, so I don’t know what’s up.

If anyone knows of any tumblrs that are kind of similar, please toss them my way and I’ll post them on the additional blogs page.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: Do I count as straight? I'm a heteroromantic asexual, but as I understand it, straight supposedly only accounts for heterosexuals. I know it's a silly question, but it just popped into my head and I thought I'd ask.

There’s such a debate about this, from what I’ve seen.

I’ve seen people arguing that heteroromantic asexuals aren’t straight, because that erases the ‘asexual’ part of their identity. As well as people who disagree. I know of some homoromantic aces who call themselves gay.

If you want to call yourself straight, then there’s not really a reason why you shouldn’t. Up to you, really, since there’s not really a definitive consensus.

-Griff

Edit:

cupcakemichi said: Answer: Since we choose our identities, you can if you want to, but you don’t have to. (I’m aro/ace, but occasionally just say “pan” because I’m pansensual)

Yeah, basically what I meant, sorry if that wasn’t clear? The reason I added the point about people debating is that I wanted to give them a heads up that there’s the possibility that they’re going to be policed, probably, but that shouldn’t influence what they identify as. Sorry if I gave the impression otherwise or answered poorly. (Don’t hesitate to tell me when I word things wonky, guys.)

-Griff

Anonymous asked: Fox News had a discussion about asexuality on one of their shows. Instead of having asexual identified people on the show, they chose to make fun of asexual spectrum people. There is a petition going on at Change. org called "Instead of talking about asexual people, talk to us!" and I was wondering if the followers of this blog could sign it and spread the word because we need as many people as possible to support us.

The post about it is here: (x)

Honestly, I don’t want them to even touch it again, but that’s just me.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: Is it bad to not release sexual energy? Sometimes I have a build up but have no desire to fulfill it. Do you think that could be bad for my health?

I honestly don’t really know for sure. I think it depends. I know of some cases of people who have a libido who have gone their whole lives without doing anything about it without having ill effects on their health, and I know of cases where it has been potentially harmful.

I don’t really know the general idea about it.

I’d recommend checking an actual sex ed blog like this one or something, (x) sorry I can’t be of more help.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: Right! This is something that has been confusing me quite a lot. I class myself as an asexual because I have so sexual desires or attraction. However if I'm kissing someone, cuddling etc then (This is extremely awkward to say) but my body reacts in the sense of it gets ready for intercourse.. I don't want to have sex and I don't feel any desires to.. Is that a norm thing? Does the body just react to physical contact naturally?

That’s simply sexual arousal. It is a natural occurrence brought upon by physical/emotional stimuli.

Many people experience it, even asexuals. It’s completely normal.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: re heteroromantic=straight. That whole debate makes me so uncomfortable, mostly b/c, from my experiences, 90% of the time the people calling heteroromantic aces "straight" are doing so to try and force the label onto them, or force them away from using a label they don't agree with (ex: the whole debate about whether heteroromantic aces count as "queer" or not). (Emphasis on the "my experiences" part, of course; I'm sure other people have seen it happen differently.)

Yeah, I completely agree, I’ve seen the same. That’s why I avoided saying yes or no. I’d really rather leave it up to the individual, for the exact reasons you pointed out.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: What's the difference between being sex-repulsed and having erotophobia?

I think the keyword there is ‘phobia’. A phobia is an anxiety disorder and is something that is severely distressing and can be potentially debilitating. I think conflating ‘repulsion/aversion’ with ‘phobia’ is a bit of a problem in language right now, because people forget that a phobia is an actual psychological condition. Nowadays people use it to describe something they simply don’t like or makes them uncomfortable. Which isn’t fair to people who actually suffer from them.

Most sex repulsed individuals do not have such an extreme negative response that would equate it to a phobia. Also, some sex-repulsed might simply be disgusted by the thought of sex where they are concerned, but not care when it’s other people. That being said, it’s possible that some sex-repulsed individuals might be erotophobic.

Browsing some articles brings up a scale, too actually, so if you choose to look at it as a pole on a scale rather than the actual condition, then erotophobia would be one end and erotophilia would be on the other, and sex-repulsed would be in between, but closer toward the former.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: I consider myself ace since i'm not sexually attracted to anyone but (and this has been bothering me for a bit) I do get turned on by voices (particularly when singing). it's not directed towards the person with that voice, the sound is just really pleasing and arouses me. although, sometimes I wouldn't be bothered by doing sexual acts with the person who possesses that voice. am I still ace?

Since you say that it’s only to the sound and not the actual person I think you’d still be ace. Arousal and attraction are not the same.

This question has come up before, if I remember correctly, and I think the confusion might come from the fact that noises are a less physical form of stimulus than people would expect to cause arousal.

Having sex is irrelevant to whether you are asexual or not.

It’s up to you if you still feel comfortable as identifying either way, though.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: Do you know any books or movies that have asexual characters?

This is such a difficult question, because so many depend upon interpretation, and if it’s an ongoing work it can change in a blink. I’ve thought of a few and scrounged up some more, but I find that a lot of these characters may be seen as a bit problematic, potentially.

The three obvious and most referred to characters recently, are, of course: Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes), The Doctor (Doctor Who), and Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory).

The issue with the first two are that, since they’ve been around so long, it depends on the writer/adaptation/interpretation. I haven’t seen TBBT, but I hear he’s said to be that, I don’t know how explicitly and I hear that changes as the show goes on.

There is Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, which is a favorite of mine. Although they are stated to be asexual unless they “make an effort” and since they are an angel and a demon, the asexual note most likely refers more to just them being generally genderless and naturally not experiencing human things like that since they aren’t human.

Canonically, Luffy from One Piece. Alan from The Hangover, according to the writers (they also say he’ll never get married so I’m not sure if they mean he’s aromantic as well or are misunderstanding what asexual means or what). Dexter Morgan from Dexter. Data from Star Trek, but he’s an android.

While I don’t know of the characters themselves, I find that many asexuals appreciate Studio Ghibli films for their lack of focus on sexual and romantic plot points and characterizations in favor of platonic friendship.

A good website dedicated to various forms of media is this one and here is a page dedicated to asexual characters (confirmed or suspected): (x)

Anyone have any other additions, please let me know, this is a common question and it’s difficult to track many down.

-Griff

Anonymous asked: Is it possible to explain more on grey-a please?

Gray asexuality is basically sort of a middle point between asexuality an non-asexuality.

Basically you experience sexual attraction occasionally, but not enough to consider yourself fully any of the other sexualities.

I think a big thing that prompts people to identify as gray-a is that their experiences and their ability to relate to people is significantly altered enough by the patterns of their attraction to warrant that distinction.

Just things such as the frequency of their attraction or the conditions required to experience it is lower or more specific than is common.

Wiki entry: (x)

-Griff