A long ask

I worry about identifying as asexual because I dont want to trivialize a very real identity if I dont actually belong to it. I end up scrutinizing everything I do to see if its proof that I am or are not ace. So I am hoping that if I ask you, you could put some things to rest.

Basically i have never felt this sexual attraction towards people the way that i think it exists for other people. I dont get turned on by people. I dont want to see them naked, I dont want to do anything like that. This is the way its always been.

However, there are some things that make me nervous. Like the sounds that people make when they have sex turn me on. Just the sounds. But people make those sounds…

And when I get drunk i very often end up hooking up with someone then wake up competely ashamed and regret what i did (it never involves actual sex, but its obviously sexual). when im drunk i dont do it because im attracted to the other person, i think i just like the attention.

Anyways, could you help?

So sorry I just submitted this again without answering

sorry one second

Edit: Muscle memory about answering asks, I think. Sorry about that.

“Basically i have never felt this sexual attraction towards people the way that i think it exists for other people” that is really all it means to be asexual. You can get aroused by various forms of stimuli such as noises like you say. You say you engage in sexual behaviors but do not experience attraction, that’s all asexual means, is no sexual attraction.

You can get aroused, have sex, enjoy sex and all sorts of other things. The only thing that makes one ace or not is attraction.

Also, I understand worrying about trivializing an identity like that, and it’s nice you’re considering that. But don’t worry. The thing about these identities are to help you make sense of yourself, so if you feel like you fit, then you belong. It may change later, sexuality is fluid, but if it helps you, don’t hesitate to use it.

-Griff

@1 year ago with 1 note
#asexual #asexuality #ace #submission