ASexy Pep Talk
Seeing a lot of posts under the asexuality tag about newly-discovered aces (hetero-romantics, pan-romantics, homo-romantics) who feel like they’ll never find love that isn’t horribly tangled up in sex and super complicated so they’ll just live alone forever.
I think this is a terribly disturbing thing to think. It’s like what they say about everything: if you send out good energy, good things will come to you. I believe there’s a book called The Law of Attraction, which you don’t even need to read because I just spoiled it for you.
So thinking “I’ve just made my chances of finding love incredibly over-complicated so I should just own up to the fact that I’ll never get a bf/gf,” isn’t going to help you at all. Why are you looking at this new label as a hindrance? I get it, I do, it’s hard enough to find love in this crazy world without over-complicating your search terms. But you have to think about the bright side:
You’ve just changed your parameters. Someone out there is thinking the same thing and searching the same world and your chances have gone from “Maybe one day i’ll find a heterosexual/homosexual partner who will just have to accept less from me” to “maybe one day i’ll find another asexual romantic and we’ll have the perfect relationship, I won’t have to conform to another person’s social needs and/or overwhelmed with guilt, and we’ll live happily ever after!” AND “maybe one day i’ll find a heterosexual/homosexual person who totes loves me and doesn’t even fucking care that i won’t do certain things!”
Positive thinking is an amazing thing. Hope is an even more amazing thing. Hope can keep you going when all else is lost. Hope can raise you up from despair and help you believe in yourself.
I think it’s important for newly-discovered asexuals to realize that they are definitely not alone. There’s a perfectly positive community of us everywhere: tumblr, AVEN, facebook, lurking in the shadows, etc. There’s even newly-created media that is opening the world’s eyes to the possibility of another sexuality. It won’t be long now.
You’ve just got to remember that even if you feel oppressed by the heightened sexuality of the world, even if your family/friends/coworkers don’t get who you are, even if you feel like you’ll die alone or forced into an awkward relationship of sorts…
Even if all these things feel like a dead weight on your shoulders, you need to remember that there are a whole lot of people on this earth. There’s so many people, it’s impossible not to find one for you. It’s impossible not to run into someone with your exact worries, or someone who cares about you enough to put their sexual desires on hold indefinitely. And even more importantly, there’s enough Asexuals out there you couldn’t possibly meet them all…
Though it would seem a vast majority of them are on the internet.
P.S: just did a search on google. “asexuality” generates 835,000 results. Imagine each one of those results was one person.
Related: it’s approximated that 1% of the world’s population is asexual. 1% of 7 billion is still 70 million people.
@1 year ago with 39 notes#asexuality #asexual #ace #pep talk
