There’s been a lots of posts about whether labels for different sexual orientations are good, bad, or needed. I think somethings missing, the slight difference between names and labels, where names are good and labels are bad. I hope this is helpful, there seems to be a lot of confusion on this.
I while back I was researching workplace bullying, and I think some of the advice they gave applies to asexuality. They said that the first thing you needed to do with strange problems along that line was to have a name for it. The name didn’t need to be good, correct, or even not stupid (workplace bullying isn’t a great name, but it works.) A name is important because it give you power over your problem. It gives you something to call it, and legitimizes it as a real thing.
Not that being asexual is always a problem, but it sure is when you first figure out that you’re asexual. Even once you’re okay with it, a lot of people don’t think its a real thing.
As I found out with the terrible workplace:
my boss hates me - its all in my head, and I need to get more assertive
my boss get angry when I do well - that’s impossible and stupid
I’m a victim of workplace bullying - That’s abuse! Why doesn’t someone do something?
People are idiots - give something a name and a less clear explanation, and it’s actually real.
Anyway, I’m not working there anymore, thankfully. The place even had homophobic propaganda in the bathrooms! But I’m still looking for work, and that place has me far too paranoid to come out as asexual. Not that I’m particularly eager to come out, but it does mean I need to be very careful on the internet, where I normally wouldn’t mind people knowing as much, and where there would be other asexual people to talk with.
#asexual #asexuality #ace #submission