Just to reiterate: you can be sex-aversive AND sex-positive. Really.


Why is this?  Because sex-positivity is not intended to be about personally wanting to have sex; it’s about supporting the right of all people of all genders to have as much or as little sex as they want without being judged by arbitrary standards of “purity” or “experience.”  It’s about believing that other people’s bodies, and the ways in which they do or do not choose to derive pleasure from those bodies, are none of your goddamn business, and none of your neighbors’ business, and none of the government’s business.  It’s about believing that sex is not inherently bad or wrong or immoral, and that people shouldn’t be shamed for their sexual activity — or lack thereof.

A lot of people, for some reason, seem to miss this nuance, from what I’ve heard.  They think that being “sex-positive” means you have to have lots and lots of sex, in defiance of social norms, and enjoy it.  They think that you have to want to have sex, and if you don’t you’re repressed and/or buying into the aforementioned social norms.  For that reason, sex-positive spaces can become unsafe for celibate, asexual, and/or less sexually active individuals, and that sucks and I won’t stand in the way of anyone’s right to object to that.  Hell, I object to it.  But that doesn’t mean that the idea of sex-positivity isn’t worthy and valid, any more than the fact that some feminists scorn and disdain naturally feminine women means that feminism itself is sucky and anti-femininity.  It’s okay if you don’t want to have sex, or even if sex grosses you out, and that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t think that everyone should get to make their own (safe, consensual) choices on the subject without fear of judgment.

Now that you’ve read my perspective on sex-positivity as a philosophy (I do understand that the movement has its issues), perhaps you will better understand when I say that as a matter of fact, I think that in this respect, asexuals (even sex-aversive asexuals) should be sex-positive.  Why?  Because, hello, everyone should be sex-positive.  You don’t have to use the label or identify with the movement, but honestly, if you think a person’s sexual choices are anybody’s business but their own… well, fuck you.  Or not.  Because that’s your choice.

For this reason, although I think (and hope) we might mean different things by the term “sex-positive,” it always grates on my nerves when people say that asexual people shouldn’t have to be sex-positive.  Um… going by the generally accepted definition of sex-positivity… yes we do.  Just like everyone else.

(via ilikesallydonovan)

@2 years ago with 272 notes
#asexuality #sex-positivity 
  1. norrihiddlesstarwarsladies reblogged this from darkly-stark
  2. missanious reblogged this from darkly-stark
  3. darkly-stark reblogged this from asexualeducation
  4. fullof4nswers reblogged this from notunprepared
  5. notunprepared reblogged this from asexualeducation
  6. asexuel reblogged this from asexyconfessions
  7. zentamora reblogged this from asexyconfessions
  8. asexyconfessions reblogged this from asexualeducation
  9. videoflesh reblogged this from sexpositive
  10. mieraspeller reblogged this from sexpositive
  11. quietlyhaunted reblogged this from frompastmetofutureme
  12. cheerfulpessimism reblogged this from gtfothinspo
  13. ccsl-uw reblogged this from sexpositive
  14. nehirose reblogged this from queenofzan
  15. purplepaintedpretty reblogged this from raspberryflavored
  16. queenofzan reblogged this from raspberryflavored
  17. raspberryflavored reblogged this from anotherfeminist
  18. anotherfeminist reblogged this from gtfothinspo
  19. eithersinkorswim reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade
  20. spiffymuffin reblogged this from the-metres-gained
  21. arealchameleon reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade
  22. the-metres-gained reblogged this from gillbertbillbert and added:
    I honestly don’t fucking get how “live and let live” is SO FUCKING DIFFICULT for people to understand.
  23. gillbertbillbert reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade and added:
    This. This so freaking much. Seriously, is about time.
  24. magicotakusauce reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade