Ace Education FAQs

Okay, so I get a lot of people asking whenever or not they’re asexual. I thought I would make my own FAQ based on the types of asks I get. Some of them might be obvious but remember that many people are new and haven’t discovered asexuality before, so it’s always good to look at the basics.

1. Am I too young to be asexual?

Honestly, I don’t think age should be a factor in whenever or not you can identify as asexual. Some people have felt they were gay since they were as young as 10, so there’s no reason why you can’t ID as ace. The only thing that should count is the fact that you feel asexual at the present moment. Whenever or not it actually changes is a different matter altogether!

2. Do you think that ________ caused me to become asexual?

There’s not enough conclusive evidence to suggest that certain events, routines or circumstances causes anybody to become a certain orientation. Sexuality can be fluid so there’s a chance that perhaps the chemicals or the emotions that control desire, romance, etc have changed. Maybe these circumstances/events had nothing to do with your orientation at all. Even if it was though, that’s no reason to feel bad! There’s no elitism or hierarchy in sexual orientation (well, as far as I’m concerned) and you are who you are!

3. I still want to get married and have children when I’m older, does that mean I can’t be asexual?

Absolutely not! You can still not experience sexual attraction but want children and get married. Children and marriage aren’t choices controlled by your sexual orientation. Plenty of gay, trans*, bi, etc people want children, doesn’t mean asexuals are an exception!

4. Is it selfish of me to not want sex as an asexual, or otherwise?

No, your body your choices!

5. Can I still have sex or do sexual things to someone and be asexual?

Yep! As long as you don’t find the person/s sexually attractive, that’s pretty much it.

6. I get turned on when I read/watch/think about ________ can I still be asexual?

Yes. Quite a number of asexuals get aroused by certain things like pornography, written erotica, certain fetishes, kinks, the idea of being dominated, the idea of dominating, etc. Nothing wrong with that at all. Sexual attraction doesn’t really effect what kind of sexual activity or fantasies you have for the most part.

7. Do you think there’s a link between asexuality and gender identity?

Not really, sexuality and gender are two different things. Some people who’re trans* may feel uncomfortable or outright not engage in sexual activities due to dysphoria, but there’s no real connection between the two.

8. How do I tell my family/friends/acquaintances that I’m asexual?

This is a great article which goes in depth on how to come out as asexual (x)