Interested in studying asexuality? Here’s some good places to start

nextstepcake:

1. Asexual Explorations: http://www.asexualexplorations.net/home/

This site includes an excellent bibliography of basically all the existing published papers on asexuality; it also has supplementary information on related topics such as HSDD. You…

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Anonymous asked: How often do asexual a experience hate? not just the traditional sense, but also people being elitist or something?

Just look at the asexual tags.

Pretty much every time I look at them, there’s always some kind of drama going on with people being ignorant, trolls or just plain hateful towards aces.

As for people being elitist towards asexuals..I haven’t experienced it, but lots of aces experience discrimination.

-Niks

Anonymous asked: Is it normal for other asexuals to get a little hot and bothered when thinking about other people having sex? Like if you're reading a fanfic about fictional characters? Not really by the people themselves but the idea of them doing things?

Yeah for sure, asexuals can still have fantasies, fetishes & kinks and become aroused over books, pornography, you name it.

The difference between this and sexual attraction is that sexual attraction is to a specific individual or people, something that is both physical & psychological.

Where as, just becoming aroused over the act of sex in itself is pretty normal for some people, not everyone though, but that’s why there’s different kinds of porn and erotica novels out there.

-Niks 

Anonymous asked: I hate feeling aroused because I don't know what to do with it, because sometimes I don't feel like masturbating when it happens. Also bothers me because it comes out of the blue.

Hi anon,

This happens to me as well sometimes, I’ll just be playing a game, chatting with friends or patting the cat, then suddenly - *BAM* - aroused. It can be really annoying and frustrating.

It’s quite natural though, and plenty of ace’s can feel that way. If you don’t feel like masturbating, you could occupy yourself with something that’ll distract you from the feeling, or, just ignore it.

Sorry I’m not much help.

-Niks

Anonymous asked: Im a girl but im really similar to guys in everything but im NOT gay at all because i know i dont like girls in that way,does that make me asexual ?? And if it does does that mean im going to be alone for the rest of my life ?

Can you explain what you mean by being ‘similar to guys in everything?’ I’m confused by that statement a little and I’m unsure how it relates to asexuality? Asexual means not experiencing sexual attraction, it has nothing to do with gender or how you present or behave. Being asexual doesn’t mean you’ll be alone for the rest of your life, some people choose to be alone because that’s how they prefer it, others may crave company and affection and wish to be in a relationship. -Niks

mitula:

What’s in someone’s pants is none of your concern (◡‿◡✿)

Who’s been in someone’s pants is none of your concern (◕‿◕✿)

How someone identifies themselves is none of your concern (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

If someone is genderfluid it’s none of your concern  ( ʘ ▽ ʘ )ﾉ

If someone changes their gender back it’s none of your concern (●ʘ∀ʘ●) 

Leave people the fuck alone and mind your own business (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧*:・ﾟ✧.

(via genderrodriguez)

Anonymous asked: I've been identifying as asexual for a while. Neither gender turns me on. But if I'm kissing, cuddling, or being touched by my girlfriend (I'm homoromantic) I do get turned on, so I'm confused. I don't think its her turning me on, but the things she's doing. If I see her naked, it does nothing. Would this count as sexual? I can't imagine having sex other than oral and her touching me, and that's only if it's her doing it to me. If I try to return it I feel like I'm going to vomit. Any thoughts?

People have sex for different reasons, and for whatever reason it is, I personally feel that each person should have fun doing it, that doesn’t mean you have to feel turned on, or have to have an orgasm, but if the idea of your partner being pleasured or you being pleasured makes you happy, I think that’s a universal thing, rather than something reserved for people who aren’t ace.

Do what you’re comfortable with, regardless.

So in short, yes you can still have sex with someone you love (or don’t love), enjoy it, feel turned on, orgasm, etc, and STILL be asexual.

The only time it doesn’t make you asexual is if you experience sexual attraction.

Hope I helped.

-Niks

Anonymous asked: To the Anon that feels aroused out of nowhere post. OMGosh! I thank you for asking that question. For so long I felt like I was broken or something because I also become aroused at random times (from listening to music (no lyrics or sexual lyrics) to just reading a mystery book. My friend told me that it can't happen at random that you had to be thinking about something sexual. I'm happy to know that I'm not alone and that it can happen at random to others too. Thank you.

Oh wow your friend said that?

Yeah it’s normal haha, our bodies can become aroused whenever, it doesn’t ALWAYS have to be a response to something sexual or w/e, but that doesn’t mean that people who become aroused randomly, want to have sex either.

-Niks

Do things like this annoy you as much as they me?

(Source: arra-tech)